It is known to us that with resilience, we can work through adversities and learn to bounce back. Resilience is important for us to function in the real world.
But how do you know you are resilient? Simply put, you can see your resilience demonstrated in how you use the “lemons that life gives you.” Furthermore, it can be witnessed in how you deal with them lemons each time they get bestowed upon you.
Following key practices are commonly known for building resiliency:
Optimism that is realistic
A focus on being grounded in the present moment
Taking control of the things that you can control, and surrendering (letting go of) the things that you cannot
Maintaining faith in a higher power; for instance, if you are religious that would look like praying to your God(s), if you are spiritual, it could be you doing your best in the situation and leaving everything up to the universe, or to karma
Expressing gratitude for the simple things that are still with you at the time of adversity
It comes as no surprise that these things serve as your toolbox in a disaster and define your capacity to overcome it. However, what we may not realize is that it takes work to build this toolbox and that work often happens behind the scenes. For instance, you cannot suddenly demonstrate optimism (especially in a bleak situation) if you are always used to anticipating the worst outcomes; you cannot truly be grateful for the simple things that you go through during your adversity, if you aren’t used to practicing gratitude on a consistent basis prior to it, and so on…Though the good news is, building your toolbox is within your control. You can start cultivating these practices to build resiliency now and I can help you get started!
But there is one other aspect that is totally out of your control. Research shows that having at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult is a key ingredient of resiliency in kids. Did you know that the very first experiences of overcoming difficult situations – which occur in your early childhood – can influence how you cope with the catastrophes in your growing years? To that end, the consistent and positive support that you received from those around you as you were coping in your early and developing years, play a huge role in how you generally overcome hardships.
Granted it may not always be easy to know who in your circle is juggling with lemons but when you know, you can help them in becoming more resilient just by being there for them and extending your support consistently! And the next time life gives you lemons, reach out and let your constant(s) know you are ready to make some lemonade with them! My hope is that they will be able to slow down and meaningfully connect with you to simply be there for you.
References
Zimmerman, E. (2020, June 18). What makes some people more resilient than others?
The New York Times. Retrieved October 15, 2021, from https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/18/health/resilience-relationships-trauma.html
The Science of Resilience. Harvard Graduate School of Education. (n.d.). Retrieved October 15, 2021, from https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/15/03/science-resilience
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